Thursday, December 15, 2016

Starving Brothers: Y'all Hungy Huh? 

What a time to be alive....Charlemagne is having photo ops with Tomi Lahren, Trevor Noah is sending her cupcakes as a band aid for the wounds he gave  her while on his show, and Kanye's simple ass is shucking and jiving with Trump. 

Let me be very clear here...Tomi Lahren is Ann Coulter on steroids, slapped on the face and body of an appealing Maxim magazine girl. Trump ran for the office of president on one the most racist, hate filled platforms EVER! All while having a documented history of hate for people of color and women. 

These are two of the most divisive, hate mongers in the universe and you have black men putting them on a pedestal. I have a HUGE problem with this as it is dangerous, and downright delusional all in one swoop! What you have is influential black entertainers normalizing bigotry, hatred, sexism and racism just as mainstream media normalizes white supremacy by labeling it some bullshit ass Alt-Right (what in thee fuck is this). 

I shared a video of Kanye's dumb ass tootsie rolling with Trump to my personal Facebook page a few days ago, and the comments started rolling in. Some people were in disbelief, some were empathetic for Kanye's deteriorating mental state, while others saw no error in his simple ass ways (yeah I thought they were tripping too). Then my amazing sister-friend sent me this bomb ass video featuring spoken word artist, Jasmine Mans entitled “Footnotes to Kanye.” Yeah it was EVERYTHING! 

This video was about more than Mr. Kardashian, it was also about all of the pseudo/former brothers who are starving. They are hungry as shit for forgiveness, love, and dopeness from us queens. Guess what.....they can't have none of our magic! Their growling stomach asses gone starve today, I promise you that. 

Many of these dudes betray, degrade, and hate us queens just as much as they hate themselves. No worries as the queens are doing really good...we shine so hard that others jack our greatness on the daily. While others are busy buying our bodies and hair, speaking our dialect, and lusting up on the broken brothers of Christmas past, they fail to realize that they could never buy our strength, resilience, fly, or collard greens (fuck Neiman Marcus). See previous post on Black Girl Magic if you need more enlightenment.

Sisters I encourage (Spanish for Hype Man) you to continue starving these culture vulture ass clowns of all your greatness. We need all our energy and magic for the existing and impending struggles that we are sure to face at the hands of the very people those Hungry Men are smiling with, standing for and going above and beyond to claim. 

In the meantime, LOVE the shit out of your good ass men, daddies, brothers and uncles who deserve all your joy!  #starvetheirasses #youhungryson #starveninja #wewouldthrowyouabiscuitbut #culturevultureassclown #lovetheshitoutyoman 

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Monday, October 17, 2016

Broken Record: Single Black Female Narrative

I have been M.I.A for the past few weeks as I have been continuing with my commitment to live in the moment. I have also been consumed by all of the #BlackExcellence sprawled across my television screen from Queen Sugar to Atlanta, right on over to Luke Cage. This excellence is beyond necessary given the current sociopolitical climate in this damn country!

In addition to the great shows listed above, I was also able to catch the series premiere of Issa Rae’s Insecure on HBO. Notice how I did not capture this show above with all the other shows that I am drooling over? It was beyond intentional! Listen I am totally here for supporting a fellow brown girl as she embarks on her journey to greatness. However, I am not here for a brown girl playing into the tired ass narrative of the single black female for the sake of “good” television and ratings.  

Let me explain….the two main characters of Insecure, Issa and Molly are the most ridiculously desperate, shallow, one-dimensional, and pathetic black women I have ever seen on television. Wait……before you come for me and tell me to check out every bottom feeder reality show on VH1 and Bravo, I will push back and tell you that I do not subscribe to that trash either. I am giving the side eye to both Insecure and reality television shows for the same reason, they cast an unnecessary shadow on the greatness that is black women.

This brings me to the point of this post, which is the bullshit narrative of the single black female that is presented across every realm of media. The way the narrative goes is if she is single there is something wrong with her, she is lonely, bitter, resentful, angry, depressed, desperate, and broken (complimentary broken p*ssy as well according to Issa Rae) just to give you the Cliff’s Notes version. I call complete and utter BULL to the SHIT on this narrative. I mean seriously who wrote this damn narrative?!?!? I promise you that it was not a sister with her shit together. Does the world seriously think that the singe black female’s world stops and turns to ruins just because she broke up with her tired ass ex? Nah son…it does not work that way! Have they ever heard the old adage "I can do bad all by my damn self"?

The single black females that I know demonstrate resilience post-breakup, embrace being alone, and bask in the glory of being able to focus and better themselves for something greater, i.e. The One. These same single black females are human so, yes they may hurt following the loss of a love that once was, but that humanity is what allows them to trust the process and understand that they have to do the work in order to heal. The joy is in healing as it is where they set out on a journey of self-discovery and rejuvenation.

I promise you that my single black female friends are not at home sticking pins in a voodoo doll of their exes, or stalking their exes and their new boo thangs on social media, or torching the things that their exes may have left behind at their places. They are also not on standby for someone who took their heart for granted for some lousy ass casual sex! Again I say…nah son it does not work that way! They are out here living fulfilling lives, dating really cute guys, fellowshipping with their sisters, seeing some world, thriving in their careers, loving on their babies, and healing along the way.

I say all this to say that I am exhausted with the crap narrative that floats around when it comes to the single black female. It frustrates me to the point of no return, because I know it to be untrue. The media can showcase single black females hacking into their exes email, jumping down the throats of the new women, and continuing to go back to loves that are no more or possibly never were. I understand that this jaded narrative it is the easy route, but it is also the GTFOH route! The single black females that I know are not weak, pathetic or insecure. They are dope women who do dope shit!

After having several substantive conversations with two of my closest girlfriends one married and one single we all agreed that episode one of HBO’s Insecure showcases single black females in a shitty light, and feeds right into that tired ass, played out narrative. Nonetheless we agreed that we were not going to jump ship after just one episode. While completely saddened by episode one, we are all hopeful that as the show progresses so does the flawed characters. Our wish is that the characters grow to be far more meaningful and fulfilling, which would require the absence of stereotypes and false pretenses. #fingerscrossed

To all of the single black females in the place to be keep shining, keep living, and most importantly keep your heart wide open for the love that can and will be in due time. #trusttheprocess #thejoyisinhealing

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Sunday, September 25, 2016

Who is S.H.E.?: H.E.R., Vol. 1

I was recently out on the west coast for business, and my four-hour meeting quickly turned into six hours…Lordt! Needless to say I was drained, jet lagged and time zone difference wasted. I had about a thirty-minute drive back into the city, and thought to myself why sit in atrocious L.A. traffic without great tunes to ease my mind. For the past week it felt as if everyone I followed on Instagram posted a thing or two about a new release entitled H.E.R., Vol. 1. I am talking heavy hitters like Alicia Keys (Pre-Girl on Fire #shade), Tyrese, Swizz Beatz, etc. So, I figured what better way to drive down the Santa Monica Freeway than to test out some new tunes.

Baaaaayyybbbyyy I had the easiest commute in all of my LA experiences. It seriously felt like my commute blew by in minutes, and I arrived at my destination too soon. I did not want to get out of my rental car, I really did not. It was the perfect soundtrack to a cool L.A. night. Windows down, breeze flowing, and hair blowing in the wind. For a brief thirty-minute period in time I was home on the east coast, because I had seriously zoned out.

The artist behind H.E.R., Vol. 1 is completely unknown at this time. You heard me….the artist is unknown. This is all part of the genius strategic marketing plan from the folks over at RCA, which screams Millennials (yeah for my team). Raises for everyone in marketing! You get a chance to experience the artist in their rawest form, exempt from all the pretention that too often drapes new and old artists. It is literally just about the music, which is something that I can totally appreciate.

H.E.R., Vol. 1 is a seven track EP that leaves you wanting more, and more. Again, kudos to the label’s marketing geniuses. Whoever S.H.E. is leads off the project with sultry, brassy vocals, which evolve into higher octaves and melodic ranges as the EP progresses. The project takes us on a cruise through love from the perspective of a younger heart. Many of the lyrics shed light on the age of H.E.R. with references to Uber, cell phone charging, and equating love to your mate putting their phone down (that’s real love in 2016).

While H.E.R., Vol. 1 gives off much youth, there are major infusions of wisdom and experience throughout the project. S.H.E. is wise enough to have no regard for the opinions of others when it comes to H.E.R. relationship, express vulnerability in telling and showing H.E.R. man how she really feels (that’s some grown ass woman shit right there), calling H.E.R. man out on his shit when he is acting up, and putting in time because H.E.R. man is worth it while falling back when he does not deserve it. S.H.E. also throws some old flavor into the mix by making a few odes to Aaliyah on Losing, and sampling Floetry’s Say Yes on Wait for It (say word).

H.E.R, Vol. 1 is clearly an exploration of love, minus the gloom and depression. Yes, love is full of ups and downs, but it does not always have to be traumatic and grim. While I am totally here for heartbroken Mary J. Blige (that new album is about to be straight fire, shoutout to Kendu), we should also appreciate H.E.R. and the natural high of being knee deep in love. If H.E.R., Vol. 1 is a prelude to Vol. 2 or whatever S.H.E. is going to title her full album, I am totally here for it! #tapsnailsimpatiently

Be sure to check out H.E.R., Vol. 1 on all of your favorite streaming platforms, and let me know what you think. Correct me when I am wrong, but please celebrate me when I am right!

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Thursday, September 22, 2016

Life Hack: Failing to Plan

I read a really great article the other day on Huffington Post titled “This is Us. This is Our 30s.” In a nutshell it spotlighted the notion that many of us envisioned our lives to have gone in one direction, and in reality it went in another direction, and how we cope. There is an old mantra that goes “Failure to plan is a plan for failure.” I am a Type A Personality kind of girl, and demand that things be in order, to an extent. When it came to my life I was never much of a planner. I mean I knew after high school I did not want to work at IKEA for the rest of my ilfe, so I needed to further my education by way of college and that is exactly what I did. After that point in my life everything else sort of just happened, no lie. Many critical events in my life were based on experience and me wanting to be proactive in promoting change within myself and my life. For example, early in life I was going to be a Pediatrician, which required medical school, which required passing Organic Chemistry. One lab experiment gone wrong, and an entire outfit filled with holes from an acidic chemical later and I was heading to law school. My final legal capstone course was extremely rigid and was a preview of law school. Next thing I knew I was searching for a full-time job opposed to taking the LSAT…get my drift? This has been the story of my adult life for as long as I can remember. No, I did not run from challenge, I ran towards my destiny. I was not about to pursue a life that was unfulfilling and made me unhappy simply for the sake of being a doctor or a lawyer.

I have never the kind of gal who had to be a Senior Manager by 27, married by 29, have two kids and a dog by 30, etc. I view that as planning for failure. You see life is not setup by time stamps, and it has no regard for your time table. It will play out exactly the way that it is supposed to, in its own time, not yours. I always feel a bit sorry for the girl who has her entire life road mapped to an exact science and date. They leave little to no room for happenstance, change of heart, and dammit just life! They are so consumed by their goals that they miss the opportunity to experience the journey of crushing said goals.  Experience, that is essentially what life boils down to for me, the journey along the way. How rewarding is landing that Senior Management position when you have not enjoyed the experience of the journey that got you there? It is the experiences along the journey that equip you with all the necessary resources to stay in your new position, and grow beyond the same.

As we get older it is natural to complete assessments of your life to determine where you are versus where you have been. It is completely unnatural and unhealthy to beat yourself up for not accomplishing a certain goal by a certain period in your life, or comparing your life to that of others. You are being unfair to yourself and discounting all of the hard work you have put in over the years to get to wherever you are in your life. So you chose to have a family before finishing your degree, or you quit your secure 9-5 to pursue your passion, or you and the guy you thought were going to get married are no more. So the hell what, that is called life Sugar, and to be frank....shit happens! 

Life is about finding alternate routes to get to your final destination. Just know that for every bad day, there are three good ones waiting in the wings. Stop taking inventory for what you do not have, and begin to take inventory for all that you do have. It will blow your mind once you realize how good you have it.

So, I demand that you forgo sizing up your high school classmate who appears to have it all via social media….designer threads, luxury foreign vehicle, and a McMansion. Remember that we only see her exterior and we have no clue what she deals with on the daily, and what she may have gone through to be able to acquire all of those “things.” You better pair that Forever 21outfit with that vintage Louis you inherited from your grandmother, hop in your domestic vehicle, lock the door to your tidy apartment or home, and hit the ground running.  Trust that your feet hurt after hours of dancing in $500 pumps just as much as they do in $90 pumps.

I am grateful for the life that I have, and I understand that it is the life that was designed for me. Anything that I continue to desire will manifest with patience, persistence, and perseverance. I will leave you with another old adage….”You want to make God smile, tell him your plans.” #keepyourheadup #itgetsbetterIpromise 

Sidebar: The picture above is of me and some of my closest girlfriends this past summer simply enjoying the lives that we have. #gratitude 

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Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Living in The Moment: All #Summer16

Soooooooo I have been M.I.A. all #Summer16, but for good reason. I was practicing the fine art of Living in The Moment. It has been absolutely amazing, and far more rewarding than I could have ever imagined. My summer consisted of sixteen, count em’….sixteen weeks of fun, sun, fellowship, and relaxation. Trust when I tell you that my spirit thanks me.

One great thing about Living in The Moment is that you come to appreciate the most basic things in life, discover new things in the world, and most importantly learn yourself. This is a total win-win in my book!

In #Summer16 I came to love social cigar smoking, basked in the gospel that my girlfriends spewed, and discovered new libations including a new selection of wines, hard cider and the almighty T.H.O.T juice. I danced, I danced a lot….in the rain (no worries as I was wearing my waterproof hair), in 90+ degree weather, in dive bars, in sophisticated lounges, in five inch heels, and in Converse Chuck Taylor’s. I became a self-proclaimed Wigologist, religiously celebrated others, and I hosted and attended countless Girls Nights. I took amazing selfies, had impromptu photoshoots in Harlem, and captured the most candid moments on film. I participated in planned road trips, as well as impromptu overnight trips. I reconnected with old friends and family, and made connections with many new folks. I fellowshipped with family and friends, and practiced loving those most important to me even harder. I demanded reciprocity from those family and friends, and was blessed in abundance.

I committed to exploring myself, and pushing the “safe” version of me beyond self-imposed boundaries, and dammit it felt good. I spent many nights alone, blasting jams from the 90s, sipping chilled wine, and getting further in tune with myself. I spent a few weekends doing absolutely nothing while I lay in bed napping throughout the day, snacked unapologetically, and binge watched some really great shows. I ate things that were healthy for my mind, body, and soul and felt really good afterwards. I also ate some shit that was not so good for my body without the guilt that typically follows. I wore bright lipstick, textured head wraps, fly sunglasses, short shorts, and Panama Hats. I let many things go….plain and simple, and this made life easier. I ran a few miles here and there and determined that I am pretty damn good at it, and realized that I should prescribe myself a daily dosage to get my endorphins flowing, stimulate my willingness to take on the world, and align myself for the day ahead (work in progress…). I decreased my worries and increased my carefree mindset after coming to terms with the fact that I cannot control the circumstances or situation, but only how I react to the same (to be continued….). I accepted people for who they were, and came to understand that life’s seasons are both purposeful and meaningful.

Bottom line is that #Summer16 was good to me, it did wonders for my spirit, and afforded comfort to my soul. It provided added value to my journey of living my best life, and granted me many life experiences. My practice of Living in The Moment will continue, but I will be back to blogging consistently in the process:)
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Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Fake It Til' You Make It: Lash Lust

At the present moment I am totally consumed by all things lashes! Falsies, top, bottom, mascara, I want them all. Yes, I am just extra as hell like that sometimes. #judgeyourfriendwhodoesnotblendhercontour

I am a cult follower of Koko Lashes (yep, I'm in love with the Koko). If I was stranded on a deserted island with the opportunity to take only one pair of lashes, it would be Koko Lashes in the style Queen B      baaaayyyybbbbbbyyyyy when I tell you that these lashes will give you, your momma, and your sister-homeboy life, death, and life again...I mean it! I do not want these lashes, I NEED these lashes. So much so that I stockpile them in quantities of 10-15 at a time. They sell out often, and take weeks to be restocked. So, in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse I need to ensure that I have enough lashes to get me through the Post-Apocalypse:)

 I mean seriously, look at those lashes. Just dreamy!

Bottom lashes are no exception to my obsession. If I have the time, I will opt for individual falsies on my lower lash line, but more often than not I do not have time to sit there and apply them one by one. So, I go to Plan B, which is priming the hell out of my lower lashes, and then applying at least four, yes four coats of mascara on my lower lashes. Trust that your lower lashes will go from No to Hello in a matter of minutes. Your face and eyes will also open up, and they photograph like a dream.

When it comes to mascara my bottom since the circle was round has been Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara. Now it depends who you ask as to whether the mascara lives up to its name, but it is not better than sex on my side of the jungle. It may not be better than sex, but dammit it is a close second. This mascara has a reputation that precedes, and proceeds it, enough said. To add icing to the cake, Too Faced finally got my memo and recently re-released the product in a waterproof formula. Just go on and light the inferno for my cremation already because I die, but wait I am coming back to life with my $23.00 to get my mascara dammit!
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