Thursday, September 22, 2016

Life Hack: Failing to Plan



I read a really great article the other day on Huffington Post titled “This is Us. This is Our 30s.” In a nutshell it spotlighted the notion that many of us envisioned our lives to have gone in one direction, and in reality it went in another direction, and how we cope. There is an old mantra that goes “Failure to plan is a plan for failure.” I am a Type A Personality kind of girl, and demand that things be in order, to an extent. When it came to my life I was never much of a planner. I mean I knew after high school I did not want to work at IKEA for the rest of my ilfe, so I needed to further my education by way of college and that is exactly what I did. After that point in my life everything else sort of just happened, no lie. Many critical events in my life were based on experience and me wanting to be proactive in promoting change within myself and my life. For example, early in life I was going to be a Pediatrician, which required medical school, which required passing Organic Chemistry. One lab experiment gone wrong, and an entire outfit filled with holes from an acidic chemical later and I was heading to law school. My final legal capstone course was extremely rigid and was a preview of law school. Next thing I knew I was searching for a full-time job opposed to taking the LSAT…get my drift? This has been the story of my adult life for as long as I can remember. No, I did not run from challenge, I ran towards my destiny. I was not about to pursue a life that was unfulfilling and made me unhappy simply for the sake of being a doctor or a lawyer.

I have never the kind of gal who had to be a Senior Manager by 27, married by 29, have two kids and a dog by 30, etc. I view that as planning for failure. You see life is not setup by time stamps, and it has no regard for your time table. It will play out exactly the way that it is supposed to, in its own time, not yours. I always feel a bit sorry for the girl who has her entire life road mapped to an exact science and date. They leave little to no room for happenstance, change of heart, and dammit just life! They are so consumed by their goals that they miss the opportunity to experience the journey of crushing said goals.  Experience, that is essentially what life boils down to for me, the journey along the way. How rewarding is landing that Senior Management position when you have not enjoyed the experience of the journey that got you there? It is the experiences along the journey that equip you with all the necessary resources to stay in your new position, and grow beyond the same.

As we get older it is natural to complete assessments of your life to determine where you are versus where you have been. It is completely unnatural and unhealthy to beat yourself up for not accomplishing a certain goal by a certain period in your life, or comparing your life to that of others. You are being unfair to yourself and discounting all of the hard work you have put in over the years to get to wherever you are in your life. So you chose to have a family before finishing your degree, or you quit your secure 9-5 to pursue your passion, or you and the guy you thought were going to get married are no more. So the hell what, that is called life Sugar, and to be frank....shit happens! 

Life is about finding alternate routes to get to your final destination. Just know that for every bad day, there are three good ones waiting in the wings. Stop taking inventory for what you do not have, and begin to take inventory for all that you do have. It will blow your mind once you realize how good you have it.

So, I demand that you forgo sizing up your high school classmate who appears to have it all via social media….designer threads, luxury foreign vehicle, and a McMansion. Remember that we only see her exterior and we have no clue what she deals with on the daily, and what she may have gone through to be able to acquire all of those “things.” You better pair that Forever 21outfit with that vintage Louis you inherited from your grandmother, hop in your domestic vehicle, lock the door to your tidy apartment or home, and hit the ground running.  Trust that your feet hurt after hours of dancing in $500 pumps just as much as they do in $90 pumps.

I am grateful for the life that I have, and I understand that it is the life that was designed for me. Anything that I continue to desire will manifest with patience, persistence, and perseverance. I will leave you with another old adage….”You want to make God smile, tell him your plans.” #keepyourheadup #itgetsbetterIpromise 

Sidebar: The picture above is of me and some of my closest girlfriends this past summer simply enjoying the lives that we have. #gratitude 

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