Thursday, March 23, 2017

Fine Tuning My Faith: Building with God

To know me is to know that I do not subscribe to any organized religion. That is not to slight those that do, it is just that I made up my mind a long time ago that it was not for me. #tooeachitsown As a kid growing up my mom never forced my sister and I to attend church on Sunday, or any other day of the week. Now don’t get me wrong, we were christened, but my mom was not the type to make us go to church. If we wanted to go we went, and if we didn’t want to go we stayed home. I will forever be grateful to my mom for not forcing religion down our throats.

In my early 20’s I made the decision to join a friend’s church after accompanying her for numerous services. I even made the choice to get baptized. As quickly as I signed up for church, I dropped right on out! I soon discovered that it was just not for me. From the church politics, gossip, power struggles, tithing and “love offerings,” to people falling out on pew number four…I just could not deal. There I was sitting up there every Sunday for hours at a time, and leaving emptier that I had arrived…..SMH. It was then that I parted ways from church, organized religion, hypocrites and zealots.

I went on with my life for many years, absent of religion and faith. I thought my life was going just fine, and I was without void. Fast forward to about six months ago when I woke up one morning feeling the same emptiness I had experienced all of those Sundays while sitting in church. At the time many things in my life were out of order, and all over the place. I was professionally unfulfilled after two years of literally killing myself for an ungrateful company….#thesehoesaintloyal, my health was on the decline, some of my most valued relationships were dissipating, and dammit I was seriously unhappy. I sat on the edge of my bed and said “Girl, shit is getting real out here. You seriously need to work on your relationship with God, and build on your spiritual connection with him.”

That was six months ago…fast forward to the now. I have restored my relationship with God, I pray relentlessly because I believe the power they possess, and I am faithful beyond measure. Can I just tell y’all how my life has changed in the six months since I put God first, and submitted to his will? All the things that I thought I was losing were taken from my life, and replaced with so much more. All the problems I worried about that caused sleepless nights were remedied, and I have been sleeping good y’all. My health….but GOD….it is getting beyond right through my commitment to a healthy lifestyle. The relationships that I once feared losing were severed, and I have commenced numerous relationships that are far more substantive and fulfilling. 

I say all of this to say that God is good, but y’all knew that. Of course I still have my days where I feel that things could be better, and then I remember what has already been done in my life, and my gratitude is overflowing.

I am in an extremely amazing space at this time, and it’s a testament to the tag team work that God and I have been putting forth. We are constantly tackling life as a duo, because I no longer have to do it alone. My smile is brighter, my spirit is beaming, and my happy is unmatched. I am no longer losing…I am either winning or I am learning. I just felt like sharing my truth, and maybe, just maybe it will resonate with one person. #TrustGodBro

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